Which is why I ask myself why I have these nervous little butterflies fluttering away in my tummy at the moment...
Maybe it's because for the first time, I'm traveling alone and that I'll have no one with me that I know even once I am in Tuscania! I've been getting all these "oh snap, this is the real deal" moments all day long seeing as I leave for the airport first thing in the morning - moments of "why am I up and leaving everything that I know to travel to a country I've never been to before?!" or moments of "what if something crazy happens?!" and even some moments of "I wish I would be able to experience this adventure with the people closest to me..."
and then I just answer by asking myself the same question I've been asking myself my whole life..."why not?!"
I came to this silly realization that this is exactly what I need to do - I know so many people who made the choice to uproot themselves from what they know...people who aren't afraid to get a little scared or be challenged -- knowing that all of those moments are just baby triumphs that are like puzzle pieces ultimately creating their identity. I'm hoping this adventure will help me grow and understand myself just a little more. I'm excited to make memories and live out bits and pieces of hopelessly romantic daydreams I've had running through my mind since forever.
I have no clue what to expect and in that is the real beauty of this whole journey. I mean, here I am up reading all these study abroad preparation pamphlets and packets that are pushing me to write down all my expectations and goals and plans and I'm kinda feeling like I don't really wanna do that quite so much. I think there's something about the innocence of living in the moment and truly soaking in the experience second by second that is simply amazing.
Of course I have my list of must-sees and generalized plans of things I would love to accomplish but I'm starting to realize that things just might be better off if I go into this whole lovely thing without expectations...and seeing where that takes me.
This anxious/excited feeling reminds me of when I was younger and at the poolside during the summer -- I would climb that slippery ladder up to the diving board and peer into the cerulean depths below...and although I played up all the bravado I could muster, I was scared like crazy to jump off that thing! But the minute I did? Man, I was hooked!
So I guess I'm hoping that this feeling is that feeling...but hey...no expectations right? Here I go!
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