You know those really amazing teachers? The ones that aren't afraid to really challenge students? That's Mario - my Italian teacher. We went off on a crazy tangent one day in class that I'd love to tell you about.
He talked a lot about book knowledge versus life knowledge and it was just so touching. I mean, he talked about his daughter..ok, let me preface this by saying that this man is just one of those amazing people - he's a true teacher, someone who cares so immensely about his students and wants the best for all of them. He isn't afraid to step away from the lesson at hand in order to teach us something bigger than all of us. He isn't afraid to ask the essential question or say things that might be taboo. Such is Mario. Anyway, he was telling us how his daughter is studying in Perugia and although that is only 1.5 hours away from Tuscania, it breaks his heart to have her so far away. He told us how he is essentially selfish - he wants his entire family together yet at the same time, he wants to see her grow and learn and he wants to give her more than he himself can give, which is why he wants her to leave him and travel. I thought this was incredibly touching. His words made me truly appreciative of my parents. I remember them telling me before I left how they never had the chance to live in Italy or any other country for that matter when they were my age. However, as much as they said they would miss me, they wanted me to have the best experience possible - they don't see how they themselves can brighten my future in this way so they are ushering me through the door to the experience that will. He also said that "you are what you are because of what you know." I thought about this for a while…it's pretty powerful. It shows me that I can't judge people based necessarily on their thoughts and actions as related to my own. Everyone has a story and everyone has something that they know or somehow believe in. how can I then condemn the person that behaves a certain way? Perhaps we didn't grow up in the same way? Or perhaps (inevitably) we just have different experiences. well, it's these experiences that define that person…
This all relates to that semester project I did my junior year of high school in which I had to answer "what is reality." after several months of trying to answer this, I came upon a slight conclusion that reality is perception and the consequent reactions to other's perceptions. I suppose I just have to remember this.
Being a nursing student, what Mario said next really touched me. he said "would you risk being the best to help someone else? Be brave." this came about when he first noticed how we as American students didn't cheat whereas Italian students in the same class and conditions would have. He brought up the point that cheating in a way represented the human condition. A person is almost humbling himself. He's telling the world that he has a weakness and that he's not perfect. Mario wanted to know why Americans don't overtly cheat - he asked if it's because we feel that it's wrong or if we feel to haughty about the matter or proud of our own knowledge. Although our teacher admitted that he believes very little in people at the moment, he did want to believe that students covered their answers or didn't cheat because of not wanting to do something wrong. Pure intentions. He said that if the case were the opposite, that students didn't cheat because of pride, then he would be concerned because that person seemingly doesn't know how to love. I thought about nursing because so many times, I see students caught up in the competition of it all - the grades, the good relationship with the teacher, plain old book knowledge…it takes a lot for me to try and stay as far away from that as possible and I'm constantly reminding myself of the true intentions behind my work. The fact that underneath it all, no one will care what grade I got on my 3rd exam of the semester or what exactly my NCLEX score was - they will however care very strongly about my capacity to love - patients and staff members alike.
Something mario said that I quite liked = "sometimes, society doesn't ask itself the essential question because we are afraid of the answer."
What is that essential question? Well, we came upon that topic when Mario said that a book we all must read is Frankenstein by Mary Shelley. He said that this book is incredible because it takes a look directly at the human condition. He says in that in Frankenstein people try to create life from nothing - something that only God can do (and a subject he discusses at a later date) and that it shows how people haven't changed over time - we're still battling nature but to what end? At the same time, we put limits on people based on ruthless judgment. Frankenstein was created and was in the search for an identity. Only when he started killing people did society notice him and label him as just that - a killer. Killing isn't good at all - but the act gave him an identity, that's what he did. And yet, because he didn't have the means to act the way society wanted him to act, he was condemned. In the same way, Mario pointed out how our current society is focused so much (even more than we know) on money. We are so wrapped up in this convoluted ideal that we shun those who have no money. Instead of helping the poor and thinking/understanding that they very well might not be in their situation by choice, we turn our backs on them. Not only do we do that, we round up all the poor (all the little problems we see) and put them together. The same goes for the mentally ill and the elderly. The minute we can't work anymore (excluding retiring on your own free will) or more importantly, the minute we can't spend any more money, we no longer exist. Money has become such a controlling factor that it binds us, making us power hungry. I mean do we actually go and help all the people in Africa, Mario asks? No. we round them up and isntead of teaching how to fish, we through bits of fish at them and feel good about it but at the same time feel like we are the slightest bit "better" than they are because we have the means to help them in the first place. Shouldn’t it be our duty to truly help our fellow man??
- Dante
- Wuthering Heights
- Pride and Prejudice
- George Orwell
- Frankenstein
- Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner
I was thinking about Maria Carla's family and my own family as well. Mario described old people in nursing homes or in lonely houses slowly withering away because no one was there with them. This made me really sad but at the same time, I realized how my grandparents are living through their children and grandchildren. Giovanni's parents are seemingly energetic and lively because they have to keep up with Francesco and Carlotta. They are required to stay active and cook and clean. If it wasn't for that…where would they be? At the same time - this entire generation of people have so much knowledge. Mario was saying that people have come to ignore the figure of the old wise woman/man. We tend to ignore older people instead of asking them what they would do in our situation and appreciating their wealth of knowledge. He said how it's easier to help people who are different from us farther away because we ourselves want to feel normal and that we belong. Going back to Frankenstein, is it we who "created" the killer or the drug addict or the drunkards - the people trying to find an identity. Interesting perspective, huh? Mario mentioned a bunch of literary works that I really want to read now:
In relation to my observation on gender a while back ,Mario said that he thinks within us is anima -- in other words, we are half man, half woman and both of these forces need to be at a certain balance for things to work correctly. In other words, we are whole when Mario recognizes the Maria or when the Carlotta recognizes the Carlo within -- otherwise, we get problems like machismo. We each need to recognize the other half.
Another day, Mario brought up this beautiful poem by John Becquer, 1810.
Al brillar del relampago nacemos
Y un dura su fulgor cuando morimos.
Tan corto es el vivir.
La Gloria y el Amor
Tras que corremos
Sombras de un sueno lo que perseguimos
Despertarse es morir.
This clearly is in spanish haha. Here's a rough translation:
As the brilliance of a lightening bolt
We are born and during the power of that same light,
We can die.
Life is so short.
And the pompous glory and selfish love that we run towards
Is a shadow of a dream that we are following.
To wake up is to die.
So wonderfully beautiful! The secret English major in me was going nuts with excitement. I mean wasn't that simply amazing? This poem reminded me a lot of what my parents kept telling me - "Christine, don’t' waste a minute! You only get ONE chance at this opportunity - make every moment count!"
Tan corto es el vivir. Life goes by faster than light…quite profound! I mean, we talked about so much and I can quite possibly go on forever but here's a highlight of other things we talked about:
"Help others. If you don't stop the problem, then you are part of the problem."
"not all truths are for all ears"
In this, "stupid people are easy to manipulate. Be wise. Learn things. Learn from others, learn from the good and the bad. Don't just accept - positively criticize. Be aware. Ask WHY. The more intelligent you are, the more you suffer because the more you know. But is it better to be more intelligent and be aware of your suffering or to suffer without knowing it?"
This is all pretty random but I thought I should share it. I mean, mario also said that people should find ways to share with others whether that's prose, pictures, poems, music, whatever. I guess mario was overall asking us to look at our roles in life. He made a great point about how society is trying to control nature with all of our genetic testing and manipulation. Research, is great he says, but to what end? He used the Italian singer Botichelli or something or other as an example. When B was conceived, the doctors did some tests and told his mother that we would have some birth defects and was asked if she wanted to have an abortion. The mother said no, and out came this amazing performer. Yes, he was born blind, but by going against nature, we would have lost his incredible voice. Society makes us behave in unnatural ways, says mario. I can't wait for all the life lessons to come!
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